Note: This was originally published on June 9. There is a whole back catalogue (so to speak) of posts that I’ve made private, but people have been searching for this on a daily basis. Here you go, whoever you are…

A brief thought on getting older: I turned 30 about a month ago, this is not old, per se. Then again, “old” is relative. I remember arriving at my high school in 1996, looking at the graduating class and thinking: “Those are full-blown adults. I will never be that old.” When I returned to the same school last week for some activities the opposite was true: “Look at how little and gangly these guys are. I was never that young.” (I was.) Concurrently, giving the word “adult” any sort of hard definition is no different than racial profiling – though, it is decidedly less malicious. Does being an adult mean you have a dependable job? Maybe. But what if that job makes you miserable? Isn’t occupying the majority of your waking hours in the pursuit of something that gives you no joy the least mature thing you can possibly do? (EDITORIAL OPINION: YES!!!!) If you’re into that sort of rigid definition, I was definitely an adult at age 26. I was also an asshole with a scarce number of dynamic friendships… so, there’s that. Growing up – to me – boils down to one thing and one thing only: Being comfortable in your own skin. For example, I’m beginning to enjoy feeling awesome and refreshed when I wake up more than staying up to all hours with a drink in hand. So, if I’m out with people and I want to leave, I go. (Sometimes I “Ghost”. My friends and I started calling it that before we knew it was already named an “Irish Goodbye”. I like my name better.) The great thing about being comfortable in your own skin – and the main reason it can serve as a sweeping definition for such a tricky transition – is how many different parts of your life it touches. Friendships get better. Relationships get better. Clothes fit better. (Know why? Because you wear what you want.) It’s easier to put criticism into perspective. (Just after my appearance on Vampire Diaries a reputable news organization called my character “human garbage”. This is a top 3 moment of 2011 for me, so far.) Most importantly, other people can sense a calm within you. I’m not religious, or spiritual, but I do believe that human beings are capable of much more then we give ourselves credit for. If you’re faking, people know. If you aren’t, people know. So… don’t be a faker. Figure that out and you can get as old as you want.

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3 Responses to Aging.

  1. James Foley says:

    you are the king of observation and wise way beyond your YOUNG age!

  2. d.c. says:

    as the saying goes,
    getting older is good when you consider the alternative. I think Betty White is the current poster child for this philosophy. Professionally, getting older for you can only be a good thing, you were just way too pretty as a youth, you are maturing into handsome leading man. I’m glad you have an online presence, I thought you were a mannequin – boy, was I wrong! Turns out your looks are the least of what you have going on for you (and yes, I’m bitter about it!).

  3. d.c. says:

    and enjoying being wrong is another benefit of getting older, so thanks for that as well!

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